Realization is a funny and wonderful thing. It's a fabulous feeling when you realise something so earth shattering that it makes you laugh... I am referring both good and bad realizations. I have experienced all kinds of realizations in my life and most of them happen when I have my eyes closed, envisioning a scenario or memory. After the realization occurs I generally open my eyes super wide and gasp. In times when I have realized something bad has happened I normally follow with an awkward laugh, like the first time I had sex and the condom broke, or the time I knew my mom had found my pot stash with my pipe, or the time I shit my pants driving down the highway. How can I not help but laugh hysterically in the moment.. there is nothing else to do. I have realized that this is something I cannot avoid, only embrace, and know that it is really happening.
However, lately I have had a great realization, one that has allowed me to breath, feel free and move forward in my life. I feel happy to have realized this, because it was silently torturing me and I could not break free, but it finally has happened!! I have realized that I am not actually going to die of a broken heart! Even better my heart is not broken anymore and I have now realized that everything I thought was everything isn't actually everything at all. It's quite funny how love will make you think that what you have is the best thing, and there will not be anything quite like it. Now, I consider myself a pretty logical person, but yes even I fell into the trap of being blinded by love. And now that I have realized that I was wrong... I feel so overwhelmed with excitement of what the future will bring me, and I am laughing hysterically, I might even pee a little.
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