Do Butterflies Die?

I have that feeling again... the tippsy, exciting, make me want to burst out in giggles, butterflies in my stomach, feeling. Hanging out with someone new gives me these feelings, the excitment of learning something new, experiencing something new, liking someone new and feeling something new. The butterflies are a wonderful, amazing feeling that occurs in me a few times a day when I think about a past love, a potential new love and or sometimes even just chatting with someone new for a short bit. But today I wondered, can the butterflies ever die? Can one become immune to the feeling? I am not one to date consistantly, however, I fear that if I do, will I eventually lose the ability to get butterflies over one person? will dating cause me to alter my future potential to feel butterflies for 'the one'? This fear could immobilize me to date people whom I don't want to waste the ability to fly on.. and only stick to people I could see myself with in the future. So I have to ask myself, is dating worthwhile? Should I spend my time and energy on someone I am only a little attracted to, but still gives me a case of the butterflies?

Shine all you people of the earth, try to make it right, Love is the way

Is it human nature to never be satisfied? Is it true that the more we have, the more we want? Does privilege lead to greed? I want to say no, but human history has told a different story. Dating back to any era in history humans have always innovated something to enrich their lives, a house out of mud and sticks leads to a million dollar castle, a horse for transportation lead to the automobile, and clothes to keep one covered and warm have lead to excessive shopping and fashion habits. I am glad to have a house, transportation and clothes, but I believe there is a line between progress and greed. Our society has definitely crossed it. And even though I see it clearly, I sometimes still get sucked into it. I believe this is why I am usually unhappy when living in Kingston, I see the world in a destructive state, with an addiction to consumerism and fake lives who don't care about anything important. People like to be ignorant, and ignore the severe issues of our world, caused mainly by north western globalization. They are happy to work (in a job they don't particularly like), to make to buy things (they don't particularly need) and eat food (not particularly healthy) and watch tv (not particularly educating). It drives me crazy..and yet I find myself doing this when living in a city surrounded by it. Right now, living in my parents house, I have a vehicle, a big house, lots of food and anything I could possible want is at my fingertips, but I hate it. I constantly find myself unhappy, looking towards something better, someplace better, someone better.
This is a toxic way to live, and with the help of a loved one, I have realised it and am going to work towards being happy where I am, with who I am, and with what I have. I am a happy person when I have very little, when life seems simple and I am challenged with making things work with very little. The analogy that was told to me, to help me understand this was the story of a family who lived on the mountain side, in a little house without power and lights. One day they ventured into the city, experiencing life with lights, tv, fast food, and all the luxuries that electricity can bring. Once they returned to the mountain side, they found themselves wishing they never experienced electricity. This exposure made them desire electricity, however, they appreciated what they had more then ever, they were happy with a life enriched with simplicity, real human desires and loved ones around them. Which is exactly all I need and want. I will learn to be happy and satisfied with what I have, and remember that life is what you make it.
Two sets of lyrics from Zoe:
Hablemos de luces
sabemos de nada
hablemos de cosas de verdad
de lo mortal
A veces tan triste
y a veces tan libre
veneno la confusion
veneno yo
(Translated to ..)
Talking of lights
know nothing
talk about real things
of mortal
Sometimes so sad
and sometimes as free
poison confusion
I poison

tú
tienes el poder
de transformar la realidad
sólo tienes que tratar
de hacer creer a los demás
que la imaginación es el poder
para crear
y para transpasar los límites
y las fronteras
en el mundo de los sueños es real
(Translation)
you
have the power
transform the reality
you just have to try
to believe the other
that the imagination is the power
to create
and relayed to the limits
and borders
in the world of dreams it is real

Commitment Junkie

Am I a Commitment Junkie? Am I addicted to being in a relationship? Can I not live without a significant other to share love with? As an addict I am going to have to deny my problem, but as always and evidence tells a different story. Currently I find myself in yet another long distance relationship, similar to the one I participated in last winter, which left me heartbroken in the end. However, I would like to think of myself as older and wiser this time around, I still make the same mistake of being in a relationship that seems to have an unknown expiry date. It is not even known when the 2 of us will see each other again.....
On the contrary, I must ask this question: Is it better to be in difficult love, then not in love at all? Difficult love defined as love that has geographical boundaries, plenty of fighting and arguing, or any other factors that may leave people in the relationship to be on an emotional rollarcoaster. Difficult love can cause one or both of the people to experience extreme highs, but also very low lows that can snowball unless they are communicated properly. So the question is... why do we put ourselves through this?? why do i torture myself with the agony of being away from a loved one??? The answer is simple: ALL NEED IS LOVE!!! It's as easy as that... nothing is anything without love... relationships, music, art..it all thrives on love. So yes, I will continue to be committed to someone on the other side of the country because it makes everything else worth while.. just like how the valleys make the mountains magnificant!

A Feast fit for a poor person

Steamed kale and swiss chard over quinoa with toasted sesame seed oil, tamari and lemon juice poured on top is the best meal ever!!! Ok maybe not ever... but for something quick easy light and super delicious.. that is the combo of choice! I simply love it. And I have Carly to thank for it. Carly was the amazing beautiful goddess that worked on Rachel's 3 Oaks farm with me in Brentwood bay. She would come to work everyday with a extra large mason jar of random stuff, always different but always the same. The meal consisted of a grain, a legume, and veggies.. with a sprinkle of tamari.. who doesn't love Tamari. Her meals were always so simple and so delicious. It's the simple foods that I like the best. With the exception of the Mexi's taco's... God I love it when the guys cook and I'm there.. it always a feast with red wine soaked fruit followed by a game of domino's with cig's.
Salut!

It's a Marshmellow world in the winter

I know that I have magical powers, but it wasn't until yesterday that I truly knew it. The nasty cold rain turned to light fluffy beautiful snow, and a whole lot of it. Salt Spring rarely sees snow, and it never stays.. but like I said.. I'm magic. Traditionally I skip, sing, dance, twirl and stick my tongue out it catch juicy flakes every year to celebrate the first snow fall. The snow began to fall yesterday evening and continued til morning, leaving a heavy pile of the white stuff and a smile on my face. As usual, I had no one to play with me, so I called up a good friend in Ontario and chatted for hours while strolling around in the snow. It's funny how a little fluffy percipitation can make my stomach tighten, my face light up, while making me giggle hysterically to myself. I Love the snow... if only I could find a place to go tobogganing I would be the happiest girl in the world.

everytime you close your eyes

Realization is a funny and wonderful thing. It's a fabulous feeling when you realise something so earth shattering that it makes you laugh... I am referring both good and bad realizations. I have experienced all kinds of realizations in my life and most of them happen when I have my eyes closed, envisioning a scenario or memory. After the realization occurs I generally open my eyes super wide and gasp. In times when I have realized something bad has happened I normally follow with an awkward laugh, like the first time I had sex and the condom broke, or the time I knew my mom had found my pot stash with my pipe, or the time I shit my pants driving down the highway. How can I not help but laugh hysterically in the moment.. there is nothing else to do. I have realized that this is something I cannot avoid, only embrace, and know that it is really happening.

However, lately I have had a great realization, one that has allowed me to breath, feel free and move forward in my life. I feel happy to have realized this, because it was silently torturing me and I could not break free, but it finally has happened!! I have realized that I am not actually going to die of a broken heart! Even better my heart is not broken anymore and I have now realized that everything I thought was everything isn't actually everything at all. It's quite funny how love will make you think that what you have is the best thing, and there will not be anything quite like it. Now, I consider myself a pretty logical person, but yes even I fell into the trap of being blinded by love. And now that I have realized that I was wrong... I feel so overwhelmed with excitement of what the future will bring me, and I am laughing hysterically, I might even pee a little.

The Cure for Recession

I am so happy... tonight on the news Peter Mansbridge reported that Stephen Harper has finally admitted that a recession is taking place, even here in Canada *gasp* But don't worry Canadians, your money is safe, as long as you shop! That's right, the solution to the financial crisis is to go shopping, build a new house and fill you new car with fossil fuels.. essentially.. SPEND YOUR MONEY TO GET MORE MONEY.. what's that you say?? it doesnt make any sense?? let me break it down for you.. the government is going to introduce a budget deficit, that is essential and necessary in special times, which will place our country on a consuming addictive cycle to spend more and save more. If we as consumers keep spending our well earned funds in the mall, and purchase goods made in other countries such as thailand, china and india, then our economy will stabilize. "We reiterate our firm belief that free market principles, and open trade and investment regimes, will continue to drive global growth, employment and poverty reduction," the statement says.

Of course! because we need to open the markets to make them freer, so that people in developing countries can be paid even less for the shit we NEED! Harper is afraid that protectionist movements will take place if a global recession happens because countries want to save themselves from the big fat pigs of north america. Harper also used his speech to send a message that a freer trading system is the best way to restore global economic prosperity, saying the world is entering an economic period that is "potentially as dangerous" as anything the world has seen since 1929. Harper is only willing to have trade relations with countries who are 'like minded' or should I say brainwashed by globalism.

So, in order for us Canadians to help Mr.Prime Minister help us get out of this recession we need to get back on the horse, i mean shopping cart and enter back into the vicious cycle of working hard at our job to make money to buy the things we NEED, to only throw them out 6 months later, but keep working hard to make money to keep buying things we NEED, to only replace them once again with a newer model.

I have to say that I am actually happy that this recession is taking place, bc it is making people rethink their everyday consumer choices and maybe, just maybe, it will slow down our hungry capitalist bellies so we don't completely destroy this precious earth in the next 20 years.

However, one bad thing about the recession is that recycling is becoming a problem. The need for recycled materials, such as paper, cardboard and plastic isnt being purchased from the recycling depots and so these containers are being sent to the landfills because of lack of space. This could mean that we are going backwards in the green movement, which is exactly what we dont NEED right now.. but on a more positive note, maybe people will start to understand how everything is connected, the global market and the environment.

Just remember the 4 R's of recycling kids: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Recession!!